stringspinner22/8/05 2:10 PM
Post by stringspinnerCan any UK RMMGAer help me out with the words to two of Bernard
Cribbins' songs.
'It was on a Monday Morning O' and 'Right Said Fred.'
I've tried Googling to no avail. Chris Rockliffe, perhaps? No?
John Pearse.
Hi John,
I'm not personally aware of a Bernard Cribbins' song 'It was on a Monday
Morning O'... unless perhaps it was his version of the opening of the famous
classic 'The Gasman Cometh' from those giants of British musical hall, the
double act also responsible for the Hippo Song... Flanders and Swann.
But "Right" Said Fred - the words also follow below
THE GASMAN COMETH
'Twas on the Monday morning, the gasman came to call.
The gas tap wouldn't turn - I wasn't getting gas at all.
He tore out all the skirting boards to try and find the main,
And I had to call a carpenter to put them back again.
Oh, it all makes work for the working man to do.
'Twas on the Tuesday morning, the carpenter came round.
He hammered, and he chiselled, and he said "Look what I've found:
Your joists are full of dry rot, but I'll put them all to rights".
Then he nailed right through a cable, and out went all the lights.
Oh, it all makes work for the working man to do.
'Twas on the Wednesday morning the electrician came.
He called me 'Mister Sanderson', which isn't quite my name.
He couldn't reach the fuse box without standing on the bin,
And his foot went through a window, so I called the glazier in.
Oh, it all makes work for the working man to do.
'Twas on the Thursday morning the Glazier came round,
With his blowtorch and his putty and his merry glazier sound.
He put another pane in - it took no time at all -
But I had to get a painter in to come and paint the wall.
Oh, it all makes work for the working man to do.
'Twas on the Friday morning the painter made a start.
With undercoats, and overcoats, he painted every part,
Every nook and cranny, but I found when he was gone,
He'd painted over the gas tap, and I couldn't turn it on!
Oh, it all makes work for the working man to do.
On Saturday and Sunday they do no work at all,
So 'twas on the Monday morning that the gasman came to call.
"RIGHT", SAID FRED
"Right" said Fred,
"Both of us together,"
One each end
And steady as we go (eurgh-heurgh).
Tried to shift it,
Couldn't even lift it,
We was gettin' nowhere
And so we had a cuppa tea and
"Right" said Fred,
"Give a shout to Charlie,"
Up comes Charlie
From the floor below...
After straining,
Heaving and complaining,
We was getting nowhere
And so we had a cuppa tea and
Charlie had a think
And he thought we ought
To take off all the handles
And the things what held the candles,
But it did no good,
Well I never thought it would.
Oh, "Right" said Fred,
"Have to take the feet off,
To get them feet off
Wouldn't take a mo...
Took its feet off,
Even took the seat off,
Should have got us somewhere, but no,
So Fred said
"Let's have another cuppa tea"
And we said "Righto."
Oh, "Right" said Fred,
Have to take the door off,
Need more space
To shift the so-and-so...
Had bad twinges
Taking off the hinges,
And it got us nowhere
And so we had a cuppa tea and
"Right" said Fred,
Have to take the wall down,
That there wall
Is gonna have to go...
Took the wall down,
Even with it all down
We was getting nowhere
And so we had a cuppa tea and
Charlie had a think
And he said "Look, Fred,
I've got a sort of feeling,
If we remove the ceiling,
With a rope or two
We could drop the blighter through."
Oh, "Right" said Fred,
Climbing up a ladder,
With his crowbar
Gave a mighty blow...
Was he in trouble,
Half a ton of rubble
Landed on the top of his dome,
So Charlie and me
Had another cuppa tea
And then we went home.
[Spoken] I said to Charlie, "We'll just have to leave it standing on the
landing, that's all. You see, the trouble with Fred is, he's too hasty, and
you never get nowhere if you're too hasty."